Finding my authentic voice....well this for me is a work in progress. I have struggled with this most of my life. Taken it into therapy and it challenges me to dance with and surrender to vulnerability everyday.....
I have been delving into the most wonderful book Witch by Lisa Lister. I was struck by the moment when Lisa mentions in a past life she had her tongue cut out for being a Witch. I was transported in that moment to being a 7 year old girl. I was in a general store playing about with my Dad, probably trying his patience. When the male owner stood over me said 'if you don't shut up I'm going to cut your tongue out.' This resurfacing memory really has struck a cord for me. I have this embodied felt sense of also being told 'I should be seen and not heard' throughout many points in my childhood. This moment feels like the moment I became scared to speak my truth. The fear is so strong, I struggle to put across my point of view for fear of condemnation, for fear of being wrong. This maybe something that is embodied & coded deeply in my psyche, but I am remembering... through this lifetime and my past lives that patriarchal culture has led me to believe I should not be heard. I am shedding the layers of doubt and fear and calling back my wild woman power. I have a sense that this fear of speaking my truth is a ancestral wounding at play and it needs to be worked through, in this lifetime.
I have been working with this feeling of fear and sharing my voice, my point of view for many years. I think the moments I feel most free are when I'm dancing, moving from a place of authenticity, the unknown and when I do my yoga/meditation. The mind stops the chatter and the self sabotaging prompts fall away! When I go inside, I can speak my truth through the medium of movement or stillness. I also feel that with blogging it has become another vehicle of expression although not in a verbal sense, but it has been a way to express my thoughts and feelings to share with a wider audience. I use the power of Doterra essential oils to support me emotionally with my confidence and developing MY voice. I use the book Emotions & Essential oils by Enlighten as a go to resource. I use a blend of Ginger (The oil of Empowerment) Spearmint (The Oil of Confident Speech) and Whisper (Women's Blend) topped up with coconut oil, that I carry around with me for any social situations where I will be called upon to speak. I feel this blend really grounds me in the present moment and supports me to find courage and reminds me to speak from a place of authenticity. Feel free to connect with me to find out more about Doterra Essential Oils.
I look to other women who inspire me, my current go to women are Rebecca Campbell, Lisa Lister, Gabrielle Bernstein and Uma Dinsmore Tuli, to name a very small few of the inspiring vibrant women these woman have shown us that we can all rise up and challenge patriarchy in all its forms. I know we ALL have a story, we all have things that have shaped us as women and that challenge us to dig deep and find strength. We all harbour feelings and fears that hold us back. But what really interests me is how to work with it, how do the people who inspire me work through with issues that arise and how I can also work through it, how can we surrender to vulnerability and release the fears and social constructs that bind us.
I feel gratitude to have found strength and solidarity in circles with other women and supportive tribes of women who I have met, or that I follow on social media and give me such inspiration every day and where there is a safe space to share and speak. It is through this that I know that I am connected to others, I am not alone in my feelings and that we are all rising, calling back our feminine power, WE empowering each other as divine feminine warriors. I would love to hear what or who inspires you to live authentically, to live from a place self love and power.
Namaste Lovelies x