I wanted to write this blog post about my personal lived experience of my menstrual health and my personal reflections of Womanhood after being inspired to by reading ‘Wild Power’ written by experts in Women's wellbeing Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer and the beautifully powerful work of Lisa Lister and Uma Dinsmore Tuli in her revolutionary book ‘Yoni Shakti' where I take such value in the womb yoga practices, which enrich and nourish my thinking both personally and professionally.
Looking back upon my initiation into Womanhood with the onset of my menstruation at thirteen. I had the this sense of shame, the words of my mother ringing through my whole mind and body that the period was because Eve had sinned, because a woman had done something so wrong she was condemned to suffer with pain and monthly bleeding. I am all to aware of the patriarchal culture we live in where being a woman that bleeds each month is an inconvenience, is taboo and should be hidden and is a taxable offence.
I never spoke to my Mother about my Menarche, I guess from a sense of shame and fear. My embodied awakening into Womanhood felt so overwhelming, I needed to hide everything about this strange alien thing that was happening to me. I had been given sanitary pads & tampons from my school. These were promptly hidden down the side of my wardrobe. I thank goodness I had these though as I was just so scared to tell anyone, let alone go to a shop and buy sanitary products!
I remember vividly my first period (Menarche) I was at a Christian camp, I had this gorgeous new sleeping bag that I had pestered my parents to buy me. The night my menarche arrived I had the most intense dreams, I remember the feeling of wildness of fervent writhing. I remember the heat and deepness of being in a well, a dark wet place that smelt of the richest earth. I woke up on the first morning opened the zipper and was greeted by blood covering my entire sleeping bag, my clothing everywhere! This was just the most embarrassing moment, surrounded by mostly strangers and camp leaders. I didn't even know where to begin the clean up operation! but this piqued my feelings of embarrassment that came with the blood. This was my first encounter of deep embarrassment of being unsure of how to proceed. I guess with very little guidance, I followed my own internal guide, my own feminine intuition on how to deal with the messiness, the emotions and the blossoming woman I was becoming & through following my dream life/body in authentic movement practices.
I have always found a richness, a potency from being attuned to my dreams, dancing and journalling what has come up for me. I have noticed many themes and feeling states that have peaked at certain times in my life and it has served as a kind of internal compass for my emotional wellbeing and honouring my embodied felt sense of self. I have been on synthetic contraception, the pill, the Depo Provera all of which numbed my wisdom down, my libido became null. I was on contraception for many years through my teenage years and twenties. I came off contraception in my late twenties and feel that this has been for me, vital to my own health, embodied wisdom and reconnection to my body.
My embodied connection to my menstruation became more fundamental to me after having my little boy. My moods became more erratic and I became angry, moody and felt out of control. This led me to explore yoga, meditation & the use of Doterra essential oils to support my health, wellbeing and emotional states. I feel that through my deeper exploration with my cycle, I have began to unpick when these emotional states are likely to happen. I also know when to indulge in more reflective periods where I listen to my body and where my energy levels are at.
I am beginning to feel the wisdom and healing that comes from being in the cycles with the moon and seasons. I am what may be seen as the Mother phase of life, but I get much from all the archetypes of the triple Goddess and the feel a sense of learning from all aspects at various times of the monthly cycle. As we feel the different energy aspects at the beginning of the cycle the waxing moon, full moon, and waning moon, with The Maiden, The Mother and The Crone. We may also notice how we may feel at different seasons in our minds and bodies. We have recently had the Spring Equinox where we celebrate the Goddess of Fertility Ostara, where we can set intentions, harness the energies around us and watch plans that we made at the Winter Solstice some to fruition. To me following these Earth cycles not only empowers me, but lets me look at what is supportive and helpful in my life, what no longer serves me and what I want to sow over the next few months. I feel that working with the Earth Cycles & my own Menstrual cycle really allows me to go deeper into the ecological body, my wild embodied wisdom and gives me a clear direction of what or how I can move towards my goals and dreams as a Woman.
I don't know why I am being drawn so deeply to attune myself to my cycle. I feel so connected to Mother Earth, my Wild Woman, my menstruation so much more since becoming a Mama. I have never before felt so strongly attuned to the wilder feminine energies, my creativity, my spirituality. I can feel there is a shift happening for many Women, a deep knowing, a sense and need for many to understand their menstruation cycles, being in landscape, connecting with other women in circle. Listening to the Earth Mother and all the magical gifts we have within us and around us and how we can support other Women in such a nurturing and intuitive way, we rising up together.
I would love to know your feelings/embodied experiences/reflections, please feel free to leave a comment! I would love you to come over to Instagram or Twitter and come say Hello too!!
Namaste lovelies x